In my Google Reader this morning was this article by a fellow mom blogger and WAHM. She’s writing a series on her blog called “Insight” all based on lyrics from songs by Mary J. Blige. Very good stuff!!! I encourage you all to go there now and read them all!
This particular post, Accept Your Past, really meant a lot to me and hit home. In my steps of growing, accepting the past was one of the biggest steps that really made a difference in my relationship with God and in my life.
I accepted Jesus in my life when I was 32 years old. Prior to that I had been raised in a cult religion, Jehovah’s Witnesses since I was 8. I was taught that it is the only true religion and all others are from the devil, especially Christianity. JW’s believe they are the only true Christians. Because of this type of brainwashing, even after I accepted Jesus, I still had times when I wondered if they, JW’s, were right. I had to let go. I had to seek God on this and everytime I did, He answered faithfully and showed me I was on the right path.
Another thing I had to accept and let go of was that I was molested by my step father from the time I was 8 years old until I was 14. If I hadn’t stood up to him and told him he was never going to touch me again, it would have gone on longer. Once I found the truth through my relationship with Christ, I was able to forgive my step father (not in person, but in spirit~I have no idea where he is now) and move on with my life.
When a child is sexually molested, it has lasting effects, effects that can last a lifetime if not dealt with properly. I had 2 years of counceling after Mom and I turned him in, but that didn’t help much. I was in such a place in my head, heart and emotions, I didn’t allow the counceling to help. I only went throught the motions, which is something I learned being molested; I think it was how I dealt with most things…I just went through the motions. After Mom and my stepdad were divorced I became a wild child. I was free from being molested but had no idea what true freedom was. I started “partying” a little at 15, more at 16 and even more my senior year in high school. I lost my virginity at 17 and was looking for love in any boy that would have me. That’s the thing with molested girls, especially if they’ve been molested by a father or fatherly figure. I thought if I gave myself sexually to boys, that meant they loved me. It took a really long time, even through a 17 year marriage, to understand that wasn’t true. I got pregnant at 18, had my first child at 19 and married a month after she was born. Even though I was married to her father and the father of my other 3 kids for so long, I never felt loved or fulfilled. I was still looking for something. I went back to the Kingdom Hall time and again, took my kids, got baptized and went through all the motions, but never found what I was looking for…true love.
That’s what Jesus is, what God is; True Love. Once you have God in your life, a relationship with Him, only then do you know what True Love is! Only then can you accept your past, let go of it, and experience the new, truly fulfilling life God has to offer.
I’m not saying things are perfect now, they won’t be until we’re in heaven, but I know I’ve found True Love, I’m fulfilled and no longer seeking other gods to fill that hole that only God can fill. He created it in us; He created us to have relationship with Him and nothing else can take His place in our hearts and lives. Nothing else will ever be able to fill that hole, no matter how hard we try. Rejecting God won’t, drinking and drugs won’t, sex won’t, a man or woman won’t, a child won’t, a career won’t, money and success won’t. The only thing that will EVER truly fulfill us is when we let God into our hearts, allow Him to be the leader of our lives and the director of our paths.
I love the saying “Let Go and Let God”. It means let go of the past, let go of all the things, any thing and everything holding you back from doing what God created you to do, to be. Let go and let God be your Pilot! Let Him direct your steps. Who knows us better??? No one! He created you and me for a specific purpose on this earth. Whether your 12 or 92, it’s never too early or too late to allow God into your life. He’s just waiting for you to say yes! Say Yes to God today and start living a fulfilled, meaningful life!
God created us, you, me every single person on this earth to have a relationship with Him. You weren’t put here to live 70 or 80 years, make a few dollars, get married and have a few kids. He didn’t put you here to have a successful career, make a ton of money and then die and leave it for your family to fight over. No, He created you to have a relationship with Him, to build His Kingdom, and to live eternally with Him here on earth and in heaven. He created you because He loves YOU! No matter what you’ve been through in the past, no matter what you’ve done in the past, you can let go and let God! Let God be the writer of your book, the director of your movie, the pilot of your plane, or the captain of your ship. Start today.
At the bottom of this page on the right side, is a prayer; it’s the prayer of salvation. If you want to start living a truly fulfilled life, all you have to do is ask Jesus into your heart. That prayer is just an example of how to do that. From your heart, just ask Him to forgive your past and to be all of your future. He is waiting. He is patient, but don’t think you have to have your life straight first. He accepts you right where you are, right now. He’s waiting with open arms, just for you. Go to the Father and rest in his arms. He’s waiting, He’s patient. He loves you.