Archive for the ‘Building Confidence’ Category

Posted on February 2, 2010 - by Mary

How Lack of Confidence Affects Work

God has really been laying on my heart this subject of lacking confidence lately. Recently, I’ve been working very hard at creating some “how-to” videos for a client with my voice. I’ll be honest with you, before I started doing these videos, and prior to taking Kelly McCausey’s Verbal Confidence webinar, I thought I was an okay speaker. I know I’m nervous, and I also know I can’t speak in public without a script or being fully prepared, but I still thought I sounded okay. Hahaha. After working on these videos for the last 3 days and listening to my own voice over and over, I realize I’ve picked up some pretty bad speaking habits. For instance, I say: fer instead of for, ta instead of to, and I sure do say Uh a lot! So, making these videos has been good for me and my speaking ability.

They have also helped me in the area of confidence. When I’m making the videos (you can’t see me in them by the way, you can only hear my voice) I find that I sound more confident when I sit up straight. I also find it very effective to take a deep breath before I begin, as well as to think about what I’m going to say. I do have a script to follow, but I find I sound ‘choppy’ when I use the script and like I’m reading from it. I find I’m much smoother if I think about what I’m going to say first, write out an outline just to keep me on track and then record the video.

While I was waiting for one of the videos to render, I started thinking about how lacking confidence in ourselves can really affect our work. I was reflecting back to when I was a receptionist for this manufacturing company and how much I lacked confidence, and it really showed. I was afraid of people, especially some of the bosses, so it stopped me from really doing a good job there. There have been other times in my life when fear and lack of confidence have stopped me from growing or being all that I could be, too. Because I was afraid of making a mistake or failing, I simply wouldn’t go after or do some of the things I desired, such as continuing voice lessons, learning an instrument, going out for cheerleading, and pursuing a career in nursing. Let me just say that though I would still love to be a nurse, I’m very happy that I’m able to work from home now and couldn’t imagine working for or under someone else. Working from home has given me the freedom I need to take care of my family and live my calling as a youth leader.

Another way lack of confidence affects your work is because you feel like you’re not smart enough, or capable enough or afraid to step out and really go for your goals and dreams, so therefore you sit there in a job you don’t like, wishing for so much more, but not having the confidence to go after what you desire.

Perhaps you’re not even aware that the reason you don’t achieve your dreams and goals is a confidence issue. Maybe you’ve never had the opportunity to try to understand the reason or reasons you don’t pursue your dreams and desires, though you certainly have them. If this sounds like you, I’d like to pray for you. And I’d like to leave you with this scripture: Psalm 139. Read it every day for a month and see if you don’t begin to feel more confident about yourself. And remember, God loves you. You are his creation, and He doesn’t make junk.

Posted on January 16, 2010 - by Mary

Declaring 2010 “A Year of Reaching for Excellence”

After much prayer and thought, I finally came up with my “motto” for 2010: “A Year of Reaching for Excellence”. There are so many reasons this is a fitting motto for me, but the main reason is I’m tired of being mediocre. I feel as if I’ve lived all my life doing everything pretty much mediocre. I’m kind of good at some things, but I don’t honestly know it there’s one thing I’m superb, or excellent at. So, this year, I’m going to focus on excellence. Please note: I’m talking about excellence, not perfection. Oh, and also note, I am talking about being excellent while still maintaining my personality.

Excellence in my personal life

Excellence in my personal life begins with my family. What can I do to help my family, as a whole, be more excellent? First of all by being an excellent mother and wife.  There is lots of room for improvement in those two areas for sure. I don’t think I’m a terrible mother or wife, but there are some areas that I can certainly improve upon….like housekeeping.

I’ve already set and begun trying to keep a regular schedule for myself which includes, quiet time with God, exercise, work time and breaks. I still need to get better at sticking to it. It’s in my nature to do what “I feel like” doing, so sticking to a schedule takes real effort, though I do like the results I get when I do stick to my schedule.

As mentioned in the paragraph above, I have time built in my schedule for exercise, and I have been sort of working on eating healthier. Need to step that up more and really focus on losing weight.

And of course there’s the finances. Just like it takes real effort to stick to a schedule and diet, it takes real effort for me to stick to a budget. But, it is definitely one area I really need to reach for excellence in.

Excellence in Ministry

I consider this blog a ministry tool, therefore I’m going to be seeking and praying to God about topics to write about here. If there are topics you’d like to see here, please let me know in the comments section, or by using the contact page.

I’m also going to be focusing on being more excellent at youth leadership. I tend to be more of a Martha when it comes to my role in our youth ministry. I’m going to try to be more of a Mary and really build relationships with the students. I do have somewhat of a relationship with quite a few of the students, but I really want them to know I’m there for them all the time, and not just on Wednesday nights.

My role as one of the assistants to our youth Pastor is another area I’m going to reach for excellence in. Just being more confident now will really help that, I believe. Same with my role as a coordinator for the Chosen Youth Conference.

Excellence in Business

As a virtual assistant, I own a service based business, so I’m going to focus on giving my clients the most excellent service I can. Not that I haven’t been, but there’s always room for improvement.

I’m also going to reach for excellence in the way I present myself as a business owner and entrepreneur. This includes my Twitter updates and interactions on Facebook. I have a fan page on Facebook for each of my blogs, not to mention I interact with not only friend and family there, but potential clients as well. Basically, I’m going to work on not sounding so goofy or silly, as I feel I sometimes do.

Communicating via email can be tricky sometimes because it’s so easy to misread something, or read it in a totally different light than what was intended. Therefore, if I have any questions or don’t understand something, I’m going to ask before assuming.

My verbal communication skills are also going to improve. Due to low self esteem and lack of confidence (which is improving quit a bit) I have a hard time verbally communicating with others. I can write and often prefer communicating via email, but it’s time to step out of my comfort zone and time to start being confident about verbal communication. (I’m taking an online class for this if you’re interested:Verbal Confidence. It’s only a one time fee of $19 for unlimited sessions.)

Other ways I’m reaching for excellence this year are: by presenting myself whole and pleasing to God (Romans 12:1);  and having an attitude of excellence (Colossians 3:23-24).

What is your motto for this 2010? If you don’t have one, use mine, and we can join together and help hold each other accountable.

photo credit: littlefishyjes