How to Be an Overcomer

The Struggle is Real

As I type out this post, I question myself if I’m even qualified to speak on this topic of Overcoming. And though I question myself, I can honestly say that I have overcome a lot in my life and I’m no longer living in the past and hindered by my past mistakes. However, it has not been an easy task, overcoming my insecurities and my bad childhood, and mistakes I’ve made as an adult and a parent. I still struggle with some insecurities, and regret for the bad choices I made back in the day. But, the difference is, I don’t allow them to hinder me from Being Who God Created Me to Be!

Let Go and Let God

As Cliche as it sounds, it really is the only way to truly be an overcomer. But, so many people don’t know how to ‘let go and let God’. What does that even mean??? First of all, letting go means letting go of the past, letting go of mistakes and bad choices, and letting go of control. Yes, letting go of control. Now don’t get me wrong, we all need to be in control of our lives and our choices, and be responsible for our actions and choices. But, we can let go of the control of past circumstances, mistakes and bad choices have on our lives.

Let me give you an example from my life. As a young girl, from the time I was 4 years old until I was 14, I was sexually abused by my stepfather. That abuse caused major insecurities in me, and therefore as a teen and young adult, I made some very poor choices. I was promiscuous, and now looking back, I know that I was looking for the love of a father. But, because the fatherly figure in my life only “showed love” through sex, I was giving sex to get love, but of course that didn’t work out so well. Fortunately, God protected me and I didn’t get pregnant until I was 18 (still young but at least I was out of high school). I did marry the father of my child and we had 3 more kids. However, he was not a godly man, and we had totally different beliefs and views on life. After 17 years of marriage, I filed for divorce for many various reasons.

My children are all grown now, and I have 4 wonderful grandchildren. I am happily married to an awesome man of God. But he is my third husband. Shortly, and by shortly I mean 6 months after my divorce, I quickly married a monster man, who mentally, emotionally and physically abused me. Not only that, but he also made sexual remarks and gestures towards my daughters. I filed for divorce from him after only 11 months of putting up with that crap.

Then I was single. For the first time in my adult life. I had to be responsible for me and my kids. I had to learn how to make good choices. I had never been taught that.

I became a Christian when I was 32. I knew God was there and so I had to turn my life, and my singleness, over to Him. I had to learn how to let God guide and direct my life. The only way I knew to do that was to pray. And praying is just talking to God. I had learned about prayer journaling, so I got a notebook and started writing all my prayers in my notebook. I also started reading various books by Christian authors to help me be a better person, mother and hopefully, eventually a better wife.

I learned that God loves us no matter what. And that while God hates divorce, He does not hate the divorced. This was a very eye opening realization for me. I struggled with being divorced because I knew marriage is meant for one man and one woman. And I really wanted that for my life. But, since it did not work out that way for me, I thought I could never be used by God and I thought God disapproved of me.

As I grew closer to God through my prayer journaling and reading, I began to see God moving in my life. I would often look back at my prayers I wrote a few months prior, and I could see how God answered them. I slowly overcame many of my insecurities.

Overcoming is a Decision

I knew I didn’t want to live with insecurities and regret for my past mistakes. So, I had to make a conscious decision to overcome them. And I did it through lots of prayer and lots of seeking God. I wanted God’s will for my life; I wanted to Be Who God Created Me to Be.

Today, I still seek His will for my life. It’s a daily prayer. I ask God every day to guide me, direct me, guide my thoughts, my ideas, my actions and my desires. Psalm 37:4 is a verse God showed me when I was prayer journaling and it has stuck with me to this day. “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

What do you need help with overcoming? Perhaps you were abused as a child. Maybe you weren’t taught how to forgive others or even yourself. Forgiveness is a huge step in overcoming especially where abuse is involved. I had to forgive my stepfather even though I thought he didn’t deserve forgiveness for what he had done to me. And even though I couldn’t forgive him in person, I did it through prayer. I gave it to God and told God that I forgive my stepfather.

I also had to forgive myself for my bad choices and mistakes I had made. Still make. Overcoming does not mean you never make mistakes again, or that you don’t struggle with insecurities once in a while. Overcoming means you don’t allow them to rule your life. You’re conscious of your decisions and you do your best not to make bad choices or let your insecurities stop you from living a fulfilled and successful life.

If you would like prayer for help with overcoming insecurities or bad choices you’ve made and are now dealing with the consequences of those decisions, leave a comment and I will pray for you.

Here are the books I’ve read that helped me overcome my struggles with insecurity and helped me get closer to God:

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