The Big 5-0 is quickly approaching!!!! I can’t even believe I’m that old!!! LOL! Here are some of my thoughts on it:
1. I don’t FEEL 50. Well, let me rephrase that. I don’t think of myself as 50! Physically I feel 50….stiffness, achy-ness, tiredness, and of course the lovely menopausal symptoms. But, I guess how I would put it is, looking from the inside out, I don’t feel 50. I still think of myself as 25. Does that make any sense at all?
2. I don’t want to think of myself as “old” although that is a really big struggle for me right now! I remember when I was 125 lbs. and thought of myself as fat and so I got fat because I had no idea how to be not fat. So, now that I’m turning 50 very soon, I don’t want to become “old” because I keep thinking of myself as “old”. Does that make any sense???
3. I missed my goal of being my ideal weight that I set for myself last year. I am proud to say I have lost some of the weight, but no where near what I wanted. I have another goal though, to lose 50 lbs. by our next cruise in January 2015! Yes, we are going on another cruise!!!! I’m so excited. I would really love to be 50 lbs. lighter and much more toned than I am now. What am I doing to get there??? Trying to eat low carb and I have started walking/running with one of my best friends. I need to do better at the low carb thing and need to up my exercise more if I’m going to reach my goal! It’s a daily struggle!!!!
4. I don’t want to LOOK 50!!! I refuse to have short, bluish-purplish hair and wear elastic waist jeans! For me, 50 is the age where I’ve begun to imagine myself at 70, 80 or 90. What will I look like? How will I dress? How will I wear my hair??? I can’t imagine not dressing somewhat stylish, or wearing my hair short and grey!!! Or even long and grey! But, then again I’ve seen some 80 year old ladies who color their hair and wear it long, and I’m not so sure about that either! What a dilemma! Ha. I guess I’ll have to wait till I reach that point to see what I’m most comfortable with. For now, I will continue to color my hair, wear it long and dress the way I do. (I think it’s fashionable?)
That’s about it. I’m just freaking out a little about turning 50, but I’m sure I’ll sail through it and the day won’t feel any different than the rest. I know one day I’ll look back at when I was 50 and think it was young! LOL. I hope I haven’t offended anyone by thinking 50 is old!