Today has been an emotionally crazy day for me. I tried starting it out with my quiet time with God and though I did get in a little time with God, it was quickly interrupted by kids. My adult grown kids mind you. Then of course I got more distracted by email and facebook. Then my hubby woke up (he’s on midnights) and started talking about bills and stuff, and I just became completely overwhelmed and I started to cry. And to top it off, tonight is youth group and I just could see myself being a big mess there when I’m supposed to be a leader, so I decided not to go. I know we’re not expected to be strong all the time, but our youth Pastor is out of town, so the other leaders have to fill in and I didn’t want to burden them with my issues which would distract them from ministering to the youth. Plus I really felt like God wasn’t done with me yet and that He wanted me to stay home so He could finish what he was trying to show me this morning…no, the last few days actually.
We’ve been going through the Experiencing God bible study in small groups at church. And, wow is it ever an amazing study. I get more and more blown away with each unit. Not this past Monday but the Monday before we have what’s called “The Throne Zone” at church. It’s a praise and prayer service the first Monday of every month. We’ve been attending that service since the beginning of the year and God has been revealing some pretty awesome stuff to me personally and to my family. At this last service, God once again came through for me. I was standing alone praying and saying to God, if you’re there, if you’re the real God and if you hear my prayer, please send someone over to pray with me. I just needed to know He was there and that he was listening. Within a minute or two, the wives of one of the elders was at my side. She said she didn’t know why she was there, she was just being obedient. Tears streamed from my eyes and we just stood and worshiped. Then God began to use her to speak to me. He said he wanted to use me and take me places, but I needed to spend some time with Him first because there were some things in me He needed to remove and deal with. No surprise there. I’ve been dealing with some stuff and I was so ready to receive and to allow God to do what needed to be done so I could be free to worship and be free to be used by Him. My friend explained that I might start to feel overwhelmed, but that it would be okay, that it was just God removing those things so I could be free.
Well today must have been the day because all day long I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to be alone with God. I tried doing other things but that feeling just wouldn’t go away. So, finally, after Jeff and Karlie left for youth group, I laid face down on the couch. I actually felt like I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. But, I didn’t go to sleep. As I laid there, God began to speak to me and show me something. He began to reveal to me that the god Jehovah’s Witnesses worship is a FALSE god. It’s not the same god we worship.
If you’ve been following my blog at all, you know I was raised a JW and have been struggling with doubt for a couple of years. I’ve been trying to dismiss the thoughts of doubt as my own thoughts, but at the first Throne Zone we attended in January it was revealed I had a lying spirit tormenting me with lies and putting those doubts, fears and thoughts into my head. I rebuked that spirit and a couple of other ones, and felt complete freedom and a renewed confidence. However, every once in a while little thoughts of doubt would still creep in, making me question my faith again. I’ve learned to rebuke those thoughts as well.
Over the last few weeks or so, I’ve been hearing the name “Elijah” come up over and over again in various conversations. I kind of know the story of Elijah but not really, so I thought (ha!) I should read the story again in the bible. One day, right in the middle of doing my Experiencing God lesson, I felt this strong urge to read Elijah right then. So I put down my EG book and opened the bible to 1 Kings chapter 18. I read how God used the prophet Elijah to reveal Himself as the one and only true God to Ahab. Ahab’s people worshiped Baal, a false God. God told Elijah to build to build an altar, and place a bull on it, and have Ahab do the same. Then Elijah told Ahab to call upon his false god Baal and he (Elijah) would call upon the Lord to bring fire down and burn up the offering. Ahab and his people called and cried out and cut themselves for hours and hours and Baal was silent. Baal didn’t show up. Baal didn’t answer. Then Elijah had water poured over the altar he built 3 times. Then he called upon the Lord to come and received the offering. Fire came down and immediately the altar was consumed by fire, even the water in the trenches was burned up by the fire. Ahab knew that his god was dead and the Lord was the true Lord, the God of heaven and earth, the Maker of the Universe.
When I first read this story a few days ago, I didn’t know what God was trying to show me through it. I continued reading and thought he was showing me how He is in the whisper (1 Kings 19:12-13). But, deep down, I knew that that wasn’t it.
This morning as I re-read the story, I began to see that God was trying to show me something else. I thought He was trying to get me to call out to Him and out to the god of Jehovah’s Witnesses, to prove and see which one is the true God. In all honesty, I was afraid. You see, there is a part of me that still doubts, that still hears that voice saying JW’s teach the truth, they have the truth. So, I was afraid to do that because I didn’t want them to come to my door. I didn’t want them to have the truth. I didn’t want to ever have to go back to one of their Kingdom Halls again. As I type this, I realize how crazy this all sounds. And most of you are probably thinking…I don’t know what…but I know this must sound crazy to you all. Anyway, this afternoon as I laid face down on the couch with my eyes closed, God started to speak to me. He said the reason he showed me that scripture is because I needed to know and to see that the god the JW’s teach is a FALSE god. It’s not the God of the Universe, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. It is a FALSE god and HE is the only true God.
Do you know how blown away I am by that right now??? I am blown away because I NEVER looked at it like that. It’s kind of hard to explain how I looked at it I guess. Kind of like the Muslims look at Ala, I suppose. They think he created the universe and claim he is the same God we worship. That is a lie from the pit of Hell. The god the JW’s teach about is a FALSE god just like Baal and Ala. “Jehovah” (the Jehovah they teach about) is not the same Jehovah the same God I worship. It’s almost like an incomplete god because they don’t believe Jesus is God, nor that the Holy Spirit is God.
Anyway, I truly had an experience with God today. I feel so much better than I did earlier today. It’s amazing what happens when you lay yourself down and allow God to speak to you. I know there’s more stuff He wants to reveal to me, and I hope I don’t have to get to the point I did today in order to hear Him.